MELT Matters
From Sue Hitzmann, the creator of the M.E.L.T. Method®
No Awards Given for Posture~
Did you watch the Oscars last night? Although I have to admit I only saw less than half of the movies nominated this year, I am a sucker for the stunning gowns that are worn. I recently went to my brother's wedding and for the very first time bought a Douglas Hannat designer gown that made me feel like a celebrity! However I must admit, the expense of such a gown leaves me wondering when I will be able to wear it again!Over the years I have gotten used to realizing that EVERYONE in Hollywood is either using Botox or Restalin or some type of collagen filler though I am surprised at how candid the celebrities are now about talking about it. Where once it was like a special secret now it's blatant that they all have some type of work done. And of course no where but Hollywood will you see so many very, very thin women with pencil thin arms and slim physiques. I am sure they all work very hard to look that way by doing the most cutting edge exercise programs on the market. But I wonder, is it me or is anyone else noticing all the rounded shoulders and slumped postures many of them have when up on stage? Although in pictures you may not notice it as much, my goodness some of them are really showing that as "fit" as they look from the front, from a side pose, their head must weight about 40lbs to their brain!
The thing that sort of struck me also this year was that the young celebrities actually
had the worst posture compared to many in my age range (Like Sandra Bullock who looked amazing and unbotoxed). I don't want to pick on anyone but I have to just say, Miley Cyrus needs some serious MELTing to get her body back in order.We all know as we age our posture can fade and become less upright or aligned but what's up with the young teen and mid-20ish actors? Why all the slouching? Even many of the guys were a little forward with the head carriage and curved in the upper back.
Maybe it's time to do a MELT on the Red Carpet Map for those of us who will adorn our body with a beautiful gown at some point, or just want to look good when the tank tops and strappy tees come out of the closets for spring and summer! Upper body map sounds like it is in order now that I can see, it doesn't matter how much you spend on a killer outfit, if your body doesn't look upright in it, it doesn't matter how lean or fit your body is, your posture says otherwise.
MELT Map requests will be answered shortly. I am on it!
Polio
As I have been working with people for over a dozen years, I have been exposed to many different issues, diseases, injuries, and issues that go under treated by modern medicine. In treating someone who has chronic symptoms due to having the poliovirus meant I had to then learn about Polio.
That's why I am a good practitioner I think. It's because I actually like learning about how the human body operates and how disease, dysfunction, and inefficiencies can be addressed through treatments other than drugs or surgery. So let me tell you what I have learned about Polio... because this virus is actually quite interesting and there is a lot of information out there to investigate.
I have learned that the poliovirus can cause a LOT if symptoms and it seems that there are a lot of people who are infected with the poliovirus are never aware they hae been infected with polio.
Some people only develop mild flu-like symptoms that last about as long as any flu:
- fever
- sore throat
- headache
- nausea, fatigue, stiffness
- arm and/or leg pain and stiffness in particular
- muscle spasms and tenderness in muscles with even the lightest touch
We have all had these symptoms at some point most likely and, it is possible some of us actually contracted what is called nonparalytic polio - a type of polio that doesn't cause paralysis or death... it just makes you feel like hell for about ten days on average.
I suppose I have worked with people who have had this type of polio unknowingly but the type of polio I am referring to here is paralytic polio. There are a few types in this classification. If you are curious to learn more about that, check out MAYOCLINIC.COM and you can read more about it.
So, it is common in clients who had polio as a child (my clients thus far in my practice are or were all over 50 while I worked with them. I have never worked on a child with paralytic polio but I would love to if anyone is interested...) to have common syptoms:
- Chronic back and neck stiffness
- Poor refelxes (and this goes well into MELT concepts of the reflexive core and the autonomic regulators in our nervous system)
- Severe aches or spasms in muscle and connective tissue
- Severe weakness (even though they have "strong" muscles, their deep stabilizing system is poor in tone)
- Chronic dehydration in connective tissue resulting in more symptoms
- Ahesions in both superficial and deep connective tissues
Recently, I had a gentleman contact me via email after seeing me on LIVE Regis and Kelly. It's the best thing being on TV. I am actually helping people all around the country just through the internet. So cool. His body sounds like it is suffering but that doesn't stop him from trying to feel better. He took the risk of buying the kit but also contacted me asking some great questions. I've even talked to him on the phone.
Texas is 55 years old and had polio as a child. Now, as an adult whether he knows it or not, all of his current body issues (his symptoms) are common in many of my clients who also had polio as a child.
Texas wrote, "I had polio as a kid I am 55 now I'm not able to stand sit or walked for more than a few minutes without it causing extreme pain in my lower back and legs so about 90% of my time is spent laying in bed."
What I know about polio is, although you live a full life to an extent, as you age the symptoms can compound so quickly it debilitates a person. So everything from simply breathing... the act of inhaling and exhaling are not only exhausting... it is painful. People with polio frequently can't exercise because it hurts in a way it feels like you are having a heart attack. Seriously, from the way it feels in my hands, I can imagine how painful it must be. The connective tissue around our heart and lungs ideally feels soft and fluid yet integrated in tensional balance. In polio clients, it feels like a long, broad scar that spans the entire rib wall. In scientific terms, the pleura of the lungs becomes definably organized where it would be best for the tissue to remain chaotic and happhazard.
Enough with the science. So let's talk about application. Because I can help someone with polio feel less stiff and restrained in the chest with MELT.
Right now on youtube, there is a technique posted called the 3-D breath breakdown. I will be posting a new one soon. Although there are 5 more techniques in MELT that I could add to this technique, if YOU or ANYONE you know has had polio as a child, you should tell them to try this technique.
I perform this technique on a soft MELT Pro-Roller although you can do this on one of our blue firm Pro-Roller, if you have polio, I recommend the pink. EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE MY ROLLER YOU CAN DO THIS TECHNIQUE! However, don't use a white or black foam roller. Instead, take a large beach towel (you may need two if you are tall) and roll it up. On the Regis and Kelly show I showed a big beach towel I use with clients too.
Dallas has only been doing these techniques along with the MELT Hand and Foot Treatment for only a week and he wrote to me: "I am amazed at the relief in pain especially for my low back and in my upper back ... its greater release than I've received in years"
As he continues to do this treatment it will last longer and longer. When you first begin, the results may only last a few hours, however, if you drink water before and after you do this treatment and make sure you take a moment to RECONNECT with the assessment technique called the REST ASSESSMENT, the benefits will last longer each time you MELT!
I hope to do a radio show soon about polio and how MELTing can help you feel better and live better...longer.
Is sitting in a chair making us FAT?
Sitting is one of the most frequented postures we take in America. From kindergarden to playing bridge with friends at age 85, the average American will spend 75% of their life sitting in a chair, in their car, at a desk, watching TV... even bike riding! This position, over a lifetime accumulates and becomes so habitual, some people, even when standing maintain a bit of their seated posture! Head carriage so forward in standing their head (to their brain) weights about 50 pounds, pelvis tucked under, low back elongated, upper back curved and weak... this is the habitual happening after sitting for 50+ years for 8-10 hours each day.
"Taking a load off" by sitting may sound nice after a long walk but if you consistently "unload" your body in a chair every day for hours on end you are SERIOUSLY doing your body a dis-service over the long haul of your body's potential to stay stable and balanced when you do finally stand up to walk. Not only does your posture flater, it's been scientifically proposed that on a molecular level your body's own cells and molecules start to change and rewire their purpose.
When we are inactive day after day, our body stops using sugars and fats in an optimal way. We stop metabolizing calories efficiently and our body slowly gains weight, not to mention toxicity in the joints and layers and tissues of the body that help to transport nutrients to our organs and cells.
In a recent article writen by Olivia Judson in the New York times column the Opinionator, "Stand up While you Read This" she discussed things like lipoproteins and how inactivity alters how these molecules operate. Although the article was suggesting standing at work, I have to be honest, this isn't the solution.
First, have you ever watched people sit? Slouchy, tucked, rounded postures are everywhere. Do you really think these body's when they actually have the entire bodyweight resting on their tragically unestablished feet is going to look any better? If we can't sit with integrity, why would we stand well? Could you imagine a bunch of moderately overweight people leaning over their desks doing work? They would become exhaused after 20 minutes and start scrambling around for a chair... possibly at some point just giving up and leaving their job because their knees and feet hurt so bad!! We would not do our jobs well, slow the process down and most likely get fired.
Now, I applaud Oliva for her article though. She is seriously talking about an issue that needs to be addressed. WE ARE SITTING TOO MUCH! How about in the middle of the day we get up and walk around? Take 5 minutes to stand up and take a stretch break or a walk break. And not a walk to the vending machine to get a snack and sit down to eat it! We should have an alarm that dings every 90 minutes or so to signal us to stand up, take a deep breath and drink about 5oz of water! This would help improve not only lipoprotein transportation but would help move the fluids in our connective tissue that supports all aspects of the human body! A novel, logical idea has been stated above!! Reread that and then ask yourself how many hours you sit without EVER getting up! I have clients who have told me they will hold in their urine for an extra hour or two because it takes time to go to the bathroom! Good Lord, someone regain some rational reasoning and realize this is a bad thing to do to the body!
So, read the NYT article, and today or tomorrow, when you are sitting at your desk... before you really get into work, pull out a stick-up note on your computer screen that says: GET UP! DRINK SOME WATER! GO FOR A 4 MINUTE WALK AROUND THE OFFICE!
If you don't get up at least 4-5 times a day from your office desk, you are breaking down your body in so many ways!!! Trust me over a lifetime it will catch up to you. Make your older years quality years and get moving today! I am off to take a walk with my god daughter Omaha in Central Park! That's a great way to spend my afternoon moving about!
California Gets MELTed
This past weekend I successfully trained 10 new MELT hand and foot instructors in Los Angeles, CA. This group was fantastic! Smart, ready to learn and armed with some serious backgrounds spanning from yoga to pilates, hands on bodyworkers to personal trainers. Each was totally unique and by the end of day two, ready to get their current clients MELTed and pursue getting MELT into new places!
Three of our fully trained MELT instructors came back to TA as well as relearn the info to keep up to speed as well as introduce themselves to the new group! We had two Master Mind members from Todd Durkin's special group of fitness professionals and a fantastic group of people from all over California! We even had one participant from Maryland come to the training!
So it has begun. I can officially say that MELT has arrived in California and is here to stay! Jill Miller, creator of Yoga Tune Up had me come by to her training to talk about connective tissue research and MELT and invite me to be her guest speaker in her upcoming training in CT!
Lots more to come with MELT! We are ready to implement more classes and instructors across the country! if your local gym or health clubs don't have MELT tell them you want it! We are ready to get everyone we can MELTed!
After 4 days out of the cold, wintery NYC weather and into the CA vibe, I have to say, I am ready to go back home and continue the east coast pursuit of getting MELT into more locations and I hope to have more info for all of you who asked "Where's MELT! I want to MELT!!!" WE ARE COMING!!!
Stay healthy, drink water, and I look forward to teach you how to stay well and pain-free longer!
The Single Leg Lift
So on the LIVE with Regis and Kelly show, I showed a technique to test the Autopilot and see if it was efficient at keeping you stable. Regis had some trouble with it. Why? Well, aging is a factor but the reality is, if you tap into the Autopilot with this technique not only can it return back to balance, IT WILL KEEP IT THERE AS YOU AGE!!!
This is key because as we age we become more and more unstable until we are just unable to stay balanced to do things like walk! If you don't have a roller, or the proper equipment, try using a thick long beach towel, roll it up and lie on it so your shoulder blades and butt cheeks are on either side... not touching the floor!
See how you do! Try the MELT Map below!
Single Leg Lift and the Autopilot Test
I was on the Regis and Kelly Show!
On Friday, February 19th 2010 I was on the LIVE with Regis and Kelly… national television. Wow. For me, this was a monumental day. Because in just one day, I went from affecting thousands of people to tens of thousands of people. HOLY COW!!! LET’S ALL COME TOGETHER AND MELT! (My goodness, just thinking about it makes my palms sweat!)So my life’s path is filled with coincidence and serendipidy. Last week I was grabbing lunch after doing a leg strength training day with my beloved Terry, and saw Regis and Joy Philbin having lunch together. I see him all the time at the Sports Club LA where I have worked for 15 years as a group exercise instructor.
As I am known at this club for being the guru of having the only class where, “you walk out feeling taller and better than you walked in feeling…” someone had mentioned Regis had his hip replaced. So when I saw him, I went up, introduced myself and asked how his body was holding up since his hip replacement. The very next week, Executive Producer Michael Gelman was at the club (he said he takes some yoga classes there) and saw MELT on the schedule, had his assistant producer Christine Composto find me on Facebook and the next thing I know BAM I am on the show.
Now, having a TV spot like this is a whirlwind. It's literally 4 minutes and you have to get at least one point across. Of course after editing, any good points are mostly edited out. If you didn't see the segment, it's on their site: http://bventertainment.go.com/tv/buenavista/regisandkelly/special/fitnessfriday/index.html
We even did a seven minute web exclusive on their site for the foot treatment. Now, what I did with them on the roller, I call the single leg lift. This is a simple way to test how your neurological "core" is holding up to stress and you general environment. As we age, our core becomes more and more out of balance causing unnecessary falls, back pain, and knee issues. When Regis and Kelly tried to do it, who do you think did it better? Kelly. Why? Well, not because she is more fit than Regis. I have to tell you, he is at the gym 4x a week at a minimum and exercises with a trainer and on his own. Although he had his hip replaced, that's not even why he had trouble. AGE is the key factor in this one. If we don't challenge the Neurocore and only do things like sit ups and crunches, we miss accessing the vital stabilizing mechanism that is providing us natural, unconscious stability and good posture.
That point didn't quite get across I am sure because I simply had to stop myself before I said, "Well Regis, I will tell you why Kelly did it well... she's younger than you are. It's a lesson for everyone to realize, as we age, our balance gets out of whack if you don't challenge it to work better!" Standing on wobble boards and such are not a good idea if you have Neurocore imbalance because if you can't lie on the floor and stay stable, how do you think you will fair standing up?
I had to stop myself from a lot of things in that segment. As my hands are like sensors for imbalance. I watched the video back laughing as I could see me tapping Regis' shoulder from the very first moment he was on the ground. My mind went "What's up with his right side? Does he have kidney stones? His hip flexor is out of whack... I know he had a hip replacement but wow his knee is a wreck..." Then my brain said STOP SUE! PAY ATTENTION! THIS IS NATIONAL TV! JUST DO THE SINGLE LEG LIFT AND DON'T BE SPECIFIC!!!
So on we went. With Kelly's neuroma in her foot, Regis and his new hip, Michael Gelman with low back strain, and Christine and the ENTIRE crew asking me after the segment if MELT could help with shoulder, neck, foot, hip pain and ache, I though, I have got to come back and MELT the whole crew!
As the ABC family is like a neighbor (I only live 4 blocks from the studio and work out at the same gym most of those guys do) it was a pleasure to MELT them and the country last Friday. Now today, I get to MELT a very large group of people on the upper west side of NYC at the JCC and help a room full of people feel better.
Watch out Oprah... I am going to be your next favorite thing!
Drink some water today... a little more than you did all weekend! And have a super day! I am off to teach!
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MELT is really rolling!
Well I just love what's happening with our MELT Instructors these days! I feel like a proud mother! So many of our instructors are finding their niche all over the country teaching MELT to large rooms of happy people! I just got this picture from Gloria Stewart, one of our most recent MELT Instructors to be trained (just in December) teaching a very packed room of participants in Los Angeles yesterday! Amanda Cizek also hosted a 90-minute MELT class in CT last week with over 25 participants too! There are dozens of classes happening now!!! YIPPIE!!!!
This is what I love to see!!! If you have not experienced a MELT class, it's time to do it! Go to FIND MELT on our website and check out the classes and special events happening all over the country in February! Become a growing part of our longevity minded community! GET MELTED!!!!

More reasons to learn about connective tissue
Yesterday in the NY Times, Sports section there was an article "Studies Link Rare Ailment in Cartilage to Pain Pumps" that was rather unfortunate. The article was about young athletes who went in for basic shoulder surgeries like one for a torn labrum and a couple of years later developed chondrolysis - an "ailment" where the cartilage degenerates, dies and leaves the joint to grind together. As with all medical mishaps the article shows everyone from the anesthetic companies right down to the FDA pointing fingers and NOT taking the blame for the tragic endings of dozens of young athletes career's.
Although in the article it says, "Wheter the pumps caused the chondrolysis... is subject of more than 150 lawsuits working their way through state and federal courts, it is still unknown why the chondrolysis develops." it seems like a simple reason of why the damage to the joint occurred. It's not really the pump, it's putting a local anesthetic direclty into the shoulder joint or any joint for sustained periods of time!
I will tell you why I think it develops, simply, if you pump local anesthetics for 3 days into a joint the medication turns into a toxin and the cells become fully dehydrated. No fluid around or within connective tissue kills connective tissue. This is DEGENERATION caused by toxicity and nothing more. Once this is set into place, the damage is done if the toxins are unable to move from the local joint. With shoulder surgeries, the joint is imobilized for weeks. This, plus local anesthetics is a disaster. I am not a surgeon or medical doctor but this I KNOW FOR SURE!! Now these young athletes are getting FULL SHOULDER REPLACEMENTS at the young age of 25!
So now the orthopedic surgeons are pointing their fingers at the pain pump manufacturers who sound like they were slow to react to evidence that using these pumps to pump anesthetics directly into joints was harmful. Of course the surgeons liked the pumps at the beginning because they lessened patient pain and got them out of the hospital faster. The FDA says they never cleared the pumps for use directly in joints in the first place and in November of 2009 the FDA issued a warning about using pain pumps in joints. They even ordered the manufactureres of local anesthetics and pumps to change labels for such use.
Sadly, the article was a bunch of legal back and forth, many claims were denied because the courts ruled there was not enough evidence that it was actually the pain pumps that caused the problem... blah blah...
It's not the pumps... it's what they are pumping into the body with the pumps that kills the cartilage. It's like saying knives kill people. Ah, no... people with knives kill people but it would be safe to say a knife isn't going to jump out of a cabinet and stab you on its own. So who's to blame? Is it the manufacturers of the pump? Is it the local anesthetics used in the pump? The doctors? The FDA?? If you ask me, I know it matters who is to blame but what's more important is figuring out who was administered the pump and who can we help NOW before their cartilage degenerates.
And by the way, I didn't see anywhere in that article that if the toxins are driven right to one joint it's only harm may be at that local joint. Once the rehab begins, the toxins go everywhere, less in mass but don't think they stay just in the joint... what if it is the anesthetics... if it is, then joints nearby the shoulder will also be affected like the upper spine!
Super, no one wants to take the blame. Super, no one wants to put more care to the patients and actually figure out how to now save the kids who have had this surgery who are going to eventually need a replacement. And by the way, now that we know, if you catch it soon enough and get fresh fluids back to the capsule, it is possible for that tissue to regenerate. MELT CAN HELP WITH THIS I AM SURE OF IT!!!
However, just like the article says, "These allegations have not been scientifically proven by any valid scientific methodology... There's no study that I'm aware of that shows a direct cause..."
SO PEOPLE... IS ANYONE LISTENING TO ME OUT THERE? Are we okay with waiting around for "valid scientific methodologies" to come to our rescue or are we going to do something about this? Because we can help this. If we wait for legal suits and the FDA to do something many more kids will be getting their shoulders replaced because of stuff like this.
I am mad today. Somebody out there tell me we aren't just waiting for litigation to make sense of stuff like this. By then it will be too late. If I waited to have a full blown scientific study showing that MELT works for people, I'd have helped no one. Although it's time for a study on MELT, it's time we all realized medicine and medical studies DO NOT HAVE ALL OF THE ANSWERS... or the solutions. Let's make one ourselves, shall we?
If you know anyone who has had this surgery, have them contact me. I'd be happy to help.
Black Diamonds and Bunny Hills
It's that time of year again, snowboarding and skiing season is in rare form this year. Regardless of your skill level there's always a chance of injury. Although you might be surprised to hear that recreational snow sports are actually relatively safe and over the 25 years I have been doing it, only in recent times have I ever worried about getting injured doing it! And this has nothing to do with my age by the way... this is simply because although the equipment has gotten better, & more streamlined, ...people skiing are not necessarily getting any better. Also, over the past decade the quantity of snowboarders has steadily increased.
It's only January and already I have seen a few torn ACL's and meniscus' on clients, some who are total experts and some who just decided this was the year to try snowboarding with their kids. The only injury to beat out knee injuries are head injuries. Luckily I have not seen one of those this year but as I give my top 10 tips for a safe ski season, #1 is... (drum roll.... WEAR A HELMET!) I know it's totally silly especially for those of us who have been riding the slopes since we were 10 but I have to be honest, wearing a helmet is a good idea now that there are so many snowboarders carving big turns on the slopes.Kids of all ages who are just learning FLY down slopes... not in straight lines like a skier, rather they cut the slope to keep control of the board. You have to have eyes in the back of your head as it seems perfectly fine to some young kids to use anything or anyone to stop them from flying into the woods! And by the way, I do also snowboard and love it so I have nothing against snowboarding... but if you don't know how, get some lessons and stick to the green slopes!
So before you hit the slopes this year, here's my top 10 tips for a safe ski season:
1. Buy a helmet. They make them lighter, and more stylish than they were even two years ago so wear one. Your brain is important. If you are learning how to snowboard a helmet is a MUST! You will fall backwards a bunch of times before you get your bearings. Trust me, helmets are good!
2. Have your equipment checked before you hit the slopes. Many injuries are caused by equipment malfunctions so spend a little $$ before you head to the slopes and check your equipment! Also, if you are renting equipment, staff at shops should take time to fit your equipment properly - if they don't ask you any questions about your height/weight/ability then seriously consider going somewhere else to acquire your gear.
3. Don't ski alone. The last thing you want to do is get stuck somewhere on your own. Skiing in groups or pairs is safer than skiing on your own.
4. EAT BEFORE YOU SKI!!! Skiing is DEMANDING and you burn a TON of calories. Don't skimp on breakfast. Eat a minimum of 400-500 calories before you head out, bring a Balance bar or Cliff bar with you and eat it after you have done 3-4 runs. Eat lunch! Trust me, fatigue comes quickly and most people don't recognized fatigue until it's too late! Keeping your fuel storage up will keep you alert and your muscles ready to perform!
5. DRINK WATER!!! Okay, I know you are thinking, "But then I will have to pee!" Actually, if you drink a decent amount of water (10-20 oz) before you eat your breakfast and then a couple of hours later you will pee less over the day because you will sweat it out and your muscles will use the rest! Just drink water!!! And at the end of the day, DRINK MORE!
6. At the end of the day when you are about to take your last run, be mindful! 9 out of 10 times it's the last run that people get injured. If your legs are tired, and it's your first day on the slopes, be smart. Save your body for tomorrow!
7. Eat a good dinner and get a good nights sleep for day two. Again, a high incidence of injury comes the second day of a ski trip just due to muscle fatigue. If you are really sore the second day, take it easy, miss the black diamond runs and stick to the blue runs. You will have just as much fun and your muscles will be stronger for day 3 anyway!
8. Doing stabilization exercises every day for one week before you go on a ski trip will significantly reduce your risk of injuring your knees! This is easy. Simply stand with your feet side by side and step tap your legs back and forth 20 times. If you have a resistance band, tie it around your thighs for added benefit. (listen to music and step to the beat for a more accurate workout). Next, with the same movement, add this challenge: when you step to the right, hold your balance for 2 seconds before stepping to the left. If you immediately fall over as you try to hold your balance, YOU ARE NOT READY FOR BLACK DIAMOND RUNS!!! Practice this move until you can achieve steady balance for 2 seconds on each leg 20 times. You can add to this by hopping side to side and hold balance as well!
9.Strengthen your glutes (your bootie) with bridging. Lie on your back with your knees bent, heels in line with your butt cheeks. Keep your shoulder blades heavy to the floor as you lift up your hips. Once your hips are up, make sure you have weight on the ball of your big toes just as much as you do your heels and outer foot. This should engage your glutes more aggressively. Hold this position for 20-30 seconds, return to the floor and repeat 5 times.
10. Finally, MELT!!!! You knew it was coming, right? Download this free MELT Map for Skiers. This is just a few moves that can help you keep your knees limber and ready for your ski trip! Try these techniques before and after you hit the slopes for best results~!
Stay hydrated, have fun and if you want some more great ski tips, check out these websites!
http://www.skitips.com Martin will even answer direct questions!
http://www.skireport.com They have up to the minute reports on ski locations all over the world!
A life without Pi
Most days I blog, I try to tell people about things that can help them live better longer. Something I am good at as I feel I spend most days figuring out how to do that for myself. But today, today I just can't. Last night I received a text (don't you
love how we communicate in this day and age...) that my dear friend Pi died. Amphaymany Keohavong, a profound artist, dancer, spirit, and friend passed away at age 39 from liver cancer. A strain in his own genetics rather than environment or stress caused this. I spoke with him right after Christmas. I was hoping he would tell me good news of Sylvia, his amazing wife being pregnant as I knew they were trying.Instead, he told me he was diagnosed with cancer and the outlook was not so good. A life without Pi... it doesn't seem right. It doesn't even seem possible. These are the days when living, for me is difficult to do feeling good. Because today, I don't feel so good.
To lose someone who is connected like a soul mate. My brother, my friend, my buddha suddenly isn't just far away as he was in Italy... now he is no more. My heart is aching a bit and the tears just keep falling. I am weepy. His life had purpose. His art was unique. So much footage I am sure now sits in his home. So much is here in front of me from afternoons taping water and roads and nature. My chest is a bit hollow today.
I will end this blog today simply with a dream I had a week ago. Suddenly, what seemed just a dream about places in my psyche suddenly makes me more aware of the universe and how it reveals itself~
I walked down a corridor, something that looked like a camp for refugees or maybe just a kids campground... It was very dark. As I reached a doorway, I felt someone tug at my arm. I turned to see Pi saying, 'It's dark in there. We shouldn't go in." I replied, "No, see here?" as I pointed to a light switch on the wall and turned it on to reveal nothing more than an empty room. As we walked through this campsite, room after room the same happening occurred. Pi fearing to walk into a door, me turning on a light so we could see our way. The last room had bunk beds all over the place but again was empty. Finally we came to a closed door. I pushed it open and there was the outdoors, bright sunlight showing us a field of white flowers and tall trees. I said to him, "See, nothing to be afraid of. Look where we are now." And Pi looked at me and said, "Ah, here we are. I know this place, man. I don't know why I was the one afraid to walk through all those dark rooms only to get us to a place I know so well..."
I awoke with a calm, funny sense, called Pi to leave a message about the dream but never heard back from him. Pi passed away January 10th, 2010. I am sad to live without Pi in my life. I am sad that Sylvia is there in Italy without him. Today, I am just sad.
Life is short, it's just too short. That's about all I can write today~<!--EndFragment-->

